I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
