We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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