ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
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