just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
