i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
