I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
