Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Randomize
