i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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