Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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