Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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