it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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