he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
