If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
This couple is walking their pig around campus
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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