We're like a lot better than the average bears
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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