just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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