Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
