So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
