Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(510): View more from California

I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...

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(301): View more from Maryland

the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.

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(857): View more from Massachusetts

other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other

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(650): View more from California

She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine

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(317): View more from Indiana

just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break

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(518): View more from New York

Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play

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(256): View more from Alabama

Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(

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(913): View more from Kansas

On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?

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