im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize