I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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