alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize