so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize