i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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