hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
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Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
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