yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
