I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize
