so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
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I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
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Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
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