i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
