You made me cry and you don't even care
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize