the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
