PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
