He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Randomize
