I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
