no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize