You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
