I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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