Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
