Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
