If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
