It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
