Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book