Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I can feel your judgement through the phone