Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
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If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...