yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.