I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
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