her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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