Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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