i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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