Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
