Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
