Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
