we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
