We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
