This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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