yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm lost and stupid without you.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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