i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Randomize