Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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