bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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