Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
