This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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