I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
