You work out of a Hotel?
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
