omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
