I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
