farters have to be the big spoon...
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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